Painful

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

I’m watching the scene in episode twenty-one, of season one, of Kimi ni Todoke where Chizuru Yoshida is walking with Ryu Sanada’s older brother, Toru. She’s loved Toru for years and years. He’s always viewed her as a little sister, but she hoped one day he’d view her as a woman he could love. I griped in an earlier post about the horrors of secondhand embarrassment in this anime. But the very real, very relatable feelings, of loving someone who doesn’t love you (or the closely related feeling of doesn’t love you anymore), that gut-wrenching feeling, one has watching this scene is way worse.

Toru is getting married. And it’s not to Chizuru (who he’s nicknamed Chii).

Chizuru finds solace that Toru cares for her, even if it’s not in the same way she cares for him.

Have you had that happen? Or the scenario where there’s a break-up but the other person genuinely wants to remain friends? Realizing they care for you, but they don’t love you in that way. I would find it challenging. If I loved them, I would continue to have those feelings. It would be difficult to stop. I’d just keep hoping that every day, I’d love them less and less. Perhaps space and distance would help. But what’s that pesky saying about absence makes the heart grow fonder?

But in Chizuru’s case, her actual Prince is closer than she realizes. And I think this one is a better match for her (in addition to being the cuter brother). Toru knows his younger brother, Ryu, loves Chizuru and he is rooting for them.

It was probably difficult for Ryu, seeing Chizuru love Toru, because he loves her, and has for years and years.

Ryu was there for her during her heartbreak and held her as she cried. That type of patience, perseverance, and strength, will carry him far and will strengthen his future relationship Chizuru. I hope so anyways. I’m rooting for them!

If I Had a Shoe To Fling…

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

If I had a shoe to fling, it actually would’ve been at Sawako Kuronuma and not Ume Kurumizawa. Why you ask?

Don’t get me wrong. I strongly dislike Ume Kurumizawa. She’s an awful human being, and she deserves whatever is coming her way. However. Shouta Kazehaya grabbed Sawako Kuronuma’s hand, and basically confessed to her, by asking her out. Kuronuma was so clueless, she didn’t even realize what was happening. Kazehaya seemingly satisfied that she at least doesn’t harbor romantic feelings towards Ryu Sanada, is okay to leave it as it is for the moment. But honestly! If I had a shoe to throw at Kuronuma I would have. How frustrating! How dense is she! On top of her thinking Kurumi was a friend. It is clear as day that Kurumi is manipulative and fake. But even so, she would’ve realized that Kazehaya was asking her out if she had been in Kuronuma’s spot! Sigh. I guess there’s next season of Kimi Ni Todoke to watch.

Weaklings Must Call In Sick (The Nerve!)

I’ve tried a couple times to watch Kimi ni Todoke, but the secondhand embarrassment was tangible and too real, too painful, and I never made it past the first fifteen minutes of the very first episode. So much cringing. However, Right Stuf had a promo, and seeing their ad made me want to give it another try. And I’m glad I did. I’m watching on Hulu and VRV/Crunchyroll.

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

Sawako Kuronuma (nickname: Sadako), is enjoying her high school life. Her character design reminds me of Sunako Nakahara from The Wallflower / Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge. Kuronuma’s fateful run in with Shouta Kazehaya, leading to their friendship and his positive influence in her life, energized her to take chances to interact more with her classmates and peers. He supports and encourages her to be herself. The scene on the stairs in the third episode, when they express their shared appreciation for each other’s positive influence, was touching. In real life, it’s not as easy being unfiltered with others, or sharing what we admire and appreciate about them. I feel comfortable expressing it, but it can be a challenge receiving it. Is one way easier or harder for you?

Ayane Yano, Chizuru Yoshida, and Ryu Sanada are in Kuronuma’s friend circle too. They, and Kazehaya, have all stood up for Kuronuma. She was the subject of bullying (especially the behind the scenes type of bullying girls are notorious for, if you’ve seen Mean Girls, or are a girl yourself, you’ve likely seen this behavior). I’m only on episode eight of the first season, but some of the ways they’ve stood up for her include; Kazehaya standing up to the class when they make rude comments about Kuronuma from the night of the Test of Courage, when he says aloud for the bullies to hear that he detests hateful gossip, when Yano, Yoshida, and Kazehaya move their seats next to Kuronuma when others avoided her (Sanada I suspect just wanted the window seat but he didn’t avoid her like the others), the girls stood up for her when she was cornered by the bullies in the ladies room, and when asked his thoughts on Kuronuma and the rumors, Sanada pointed out the unrealistic possibility of that being remotely true. Being a good friend to another person, means being a good friend to them even when they’re not around. Kuronuma’s close friends love and care for her, and they don’t give the opinions of others a second thought. Knowing all of the hurdles she’s overcome and how lonely she felt, especially with everyone calling her Sadako (from The Ring), it’s wonderful to see her finally happy. One other comment, about the bullying scene from the bathroom, sometimes intervention depends on a person’s comfort level. While Hirano and Endo didn’t feel physically, emotionally, or mentally capable of taking on the group of girl bullies, they did run to get help. Standing up for your friends can be expressed in various ways. Yes it might’ve been more helpful if they had directly intervened, but it makes me think of all the others who saw Kuronuma bullied over the years who did absolutely nothing. Seeing how Yoshida and Yano stood up for her, Kuronuma finally realizes they are friends, and have been friends all along.

I enjoy the moments when the friends are relaxing together and being themselves. Yano and Yoshida see the blossoming romance between Kazehaya and Kuronuma (even if Kuronuma herself is unaware). After intentionally making Kazehaya jealous (proving he liked Kuronuma), of course the girls can’t resist giving Kazehaya a hard time as he walks Kuronuma home.

Joking aside, Shouta Kazehaya truly is a gentlemen. He has integrity and is an authentic person. He is a leader without trying, he makes it look effortless. Everyone feels welcomed in his presence, and he “sees” those around him. He’s present. That smile puts everyone at ease. Do you know people like that in real life? I do. Their energy is positive and uplifting. They’re sincere in their words and actions. I aspire to be that way. I’m authentic, but I don’t know about uplifting and positive. Maybe one day.

This shoujo anime, Kimi Ni Todoke, has humor. Not as much as others I’ve watched in the past, but the parts that are funny make me laugh out loud. Try to overcome the hurdle of the horrible secondhand embarrassment that this show has so much of. I haven’t felt this much embarrassment since watching Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji. Here is a funny moment from episode eight of the first season. The class is discussing the upcoming Sports Festival with their teacher, Pin. I suspect if I was in their class, Pin would strongly encourage me to take a sick day (the nerve!).

Give the show a chance if you haven’t already. Or if you tried before, give it another opportunity? Maybe you will like it the third time, like I did. There are a lot of positive messages in this show. Perhaps there will be less drama and less secondhand embarrassment in the future episodes. I’m only on episode eight, but I’d prefer less cringing. Hoping everything works out for this group of friends!