Our True Selves
I’m watching the DVD of Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou / His and Her Circumstances. The season was available at a great price at the used bookstore 2nd and Charles. Check it out if you haven’t watched it yet!
The first episode had me laughing out loud. Yukino Miyazawa reminded me of Umaru Doma from Himouto! Umaru-chan because she has a secret side at home. Miyazawa lives and thrives off the praise of others. She studies hard to earn top grades, she practices the piano, trains for sports in secret, is obsessed with her appearance, and hides her true self and her true opinions. She thinks presenting a version of herself that is admirable to others, will earn their respect and praise. However, Soichiro Arima has beaten her top score, and he easily earns the accolades of others, without even trying. Her competitive nature has her pushing herself harder than ever to try and beat him. She is jealous of him. She dislikes him immensely. He is her competition. His feelings towards her are quite different.
At earlier stages in my life I could see how I had elements of Miyazawa. People pleasing. Not wanting to rock the boat. Feeling that you have to look a certain way to be accepted. Being obsessed with exercising (and for aesthetics not for the health aspect). Always wanting to be the best. Working as hard as you can. I still have a workaholic streak. I want to prove I’m reliable, hard-working, capable, driven, and smart. That I add value. In addition to wanting that self-esteem boost that comes from the praise of others, I think it’s also wanting people to be at peace, and happy in your presence. Not that being vain is helpful to anyone, but the part that wants to please others. Wanting to feel accepted and worthy. Eventually I got to a place, where I don’t let the opinions of others sway me. At the end of the day I have to be at peace, especially if I want to sleep at night. You don’t need to be a bulldozer just speak your truth and hopefully your intended message is received. Getting on the other side, is totally worth it. It’s relaxing and liberating. Peaceful. Wanting to be healthy for yourself, pursuing hobbies that you enjoy, and owning your personality, just being your authentic self regardless of who is around you. I love to laugh and had a passion to do comedy, I’ve done a few roasts at work and improv classes, they’re a lot of fun. Earlier in my life I felt that bringing attention to myself would bring ridicule (and not the kind of laughs I wanted), so I’d keep quiet. Sometimes it is appropriate to be more reserved, but hiding your true personality is draining.
I think it is so funny that Miyazawa’s family rags on her for being such a phony!
Oh yes if I didn’t say it earlier, I should come clean and say I am very much like Umaru and Miyazawa. As soon as I get home, and after I shower, I’m in yoga pants or jammies and watching anime or reading a book. I am relaxing. It could be perceived as laziness. But when I’m not at home, I’m going full throttle! I need time to recharge.
Okay yes I’m pretty stubborn. BUT stubbornness and pride have saved me from many potentially awkward and embarrassing circumstances so, at least that!
I understand completely! In life you need energy and zest to do your best and to be competitive. You need time to recover.
She has a valid point.
Ah you too Mom? LOL
That looks like a lot of effort to have a fake persona.
Surely once Miyazawa beats Arima for the top scores she’ll be happy right?
People pleasing is a never ending carousel ride, and not the fun kind. Get off! Reclaim your life and your sanity. Live authentically. Establish boundaries. Don’t rely on others for your self-worth.
So after all of her hours of studying, hard work, and effort to beat Arima’s top score, she thought it would bring her happiness, but it didn’t. Feeling deflated, she’s shocked to get a love confession from him.
Miyazawa wanting to keep her true self a secret, refuses Arima. And goes on an ego trip. Later she realizes the error of her ways, thanks to her younger sisters.
Ugh yes I’ve made that mistake myself. I’m sorry. Sigh.
Yes I agree! Why go out to a large party or crowded event when you can relax at home? That’s probably why adjusting to quarantine was not as challenging for me, as it was for others. You know the people with a social life.
So you already know what’s coming right? Yes of course, the jig is up and her secret is out. (PSA: always look out the window before answering the door).
If the rest of the season is like the first episode, I am excited to see more!
You must be logged in to post a comment.